Thursday, May 25, 2006

In exactly two weeks I leave for Athens, in search of something that I know I will not find.  I have known this for quite some time, and yet I am still going.  Perhaps I will find closure, although that is not something I really want.  I don't want to be over last summer, I just keep hoping that maybe, by some miracle, things will work out. 

Jet lag is driving me crazy.  I can't fall asleep when its time for bed, and then I'm exhausted the whole time I'm awake.  I spent all day yesterday sitting in the house alone, wishing I were elsewhere.  I miss my friends from spring term, from school, and from last summer, friends from Indy who are still gone.  And the one person I miss the most is hundreds of miles away, out of reach, and unaware of how I feel.  Nothing feels right anymore, and nowhere feels like home. 

This whole growing up thing really sucks some times; not to say that the journey hasn't had its spectacular moments, but sometimes I wish I didn't want the things I want.  That would make life much simpler. 

I got my last spring term assignment turned in today, so I'm officially done with that class.  Now I just have to get worked up for Philosophy of Religion and Greek Society, Language, and Culture, which I will be taking in Athens.  I need to finish up my journal from this trip and get started on my scrapbook, my goal is to have it done before I leave for Greece so that I don't get backed up on work when I get back in July. 

Today's agenda:  unpacking, laundry, remaking my bed, cleaning up my room, and working on a surprise for Caitlin.  Her graduation is tonight!!! 

~RLM