Thursday, May 25, 2006

In exactly two weeks I leave for Athens, in search of something that I know I will not find.  I have known this for quite some time, and yet I am still going.  Perhaps I will find closure, although that is not something I really want.  I don't want to be over last summer, I just keep hoping that maybe, by some miracle, things will work out. 

Jet lag is driving me crazy.  I can't fall asleep when its time for bed, and then I'm exhausted the whole time I'm awake.  I spent all day yesterday sitting in the house alone, wishing I were elsewhere.  I miss my friends from spring term, from school, and from last summer, friends from Indy who are still gone.  And the one person I miss the most is hundreds of miles away, out of reach, and unaware of how I feel.  Nothing feels right anymore, and nowhere feels like home. 

This whole growing up thing really sucks some times; not to say that the journey hasn't had its spectacular moments, but sometimes I wish I didn't want the things I want.  That would make life much simpler. 

I got my last spring term assignment turned in today, so I'm officially done with that class.  Now I just have to get worked up for Philosophy of Religion and Greek Society, Language, and Culture, which I will be taking in Athens.  I need to finish up my journal from this trip and get started on my scrapbook, my goal is to have it done before I leave for Greece so that I don't get backed up on work when I get back in July. 

Today's agenda:  unpacking, laundry, remaking my bed, cleaning up my room, and working on a surprise for Caitlin.  Her graduation is tonight!!! 

~RLM

Friday, May 26, 2006

Spending the morning on campus with madre, then going to Kentucky for a memorial service, which I'm not altogether sure I will make through without having a breakdown.  We're spending tonight with Granny and eating breakfast tomorrow at Shakertown with Aunt Linda; it's tradition.  I'm taking Caitlin to May Day for her graduation present so we have to be back around 2 tomorrow afternoon.  Its basically going to be an absolutley crazy couple of days.  And I still feel like crap because of jet lag.  Yay!

~RLM

Monday, May 29, 2006

For someone who used to be such an extreme home-body as myself, its funny how much I despise being here now.  It really does drive me crazy.  I've gotten too used to being independent all the time, that the constant supervision and 'advice' come across as constant nagging.  There's only so much active parenting you can take when you're a 20 year old who has been living 15 hours away from home for the past two years.  Its a good thing I'm leaving in ten days or I just might lose my mind.

I'm still feeling incredibly jet-lagged, or it could just be down right exhaustion at this point.  I went from the absolute craziness of the last month at school, to my completely unrelaxing 3 day 'break,' and 13 days of extreme tourism, so I really have a lot to recover from, not to mention the varied activities that have kept me occupied since I got home.

And this week promises to be just as eventful, as we have to go through every single item in the house and either pack it or get ready to sell it in Saturday's yardsale.  I'm hoping to sell off my possessions to make some money, since a job wasn't really part of the plan this summer.

I'm so glad this two week break is going to provide absolutely no rest or relaxation; I'm going to feel like spending the entire 6 weeks I'm in Athens in bed.  I did manage to let myself off the hook today and spent the entire afternoon either asleep or in bed with Bergdorf Blondes-a completely mindless book that has somehow managed to become one of my favorite reads.  Its my little holiday from reality, and always manages to make me feel better about myself. 

Seeing as how yesterday was completely exhausting-we started the day at 7am, had breakfast at Shaker Town with the relatives, went back to Lawrenceburg, drove to Indy, made a pit stop at the Gap outlet, came home, had approximately 15 minutes to eat dinner (a bag of cheetos), then left for May Day, which started at 4pm and didn't get us home until almost 1am-I felt I deserved a little break.  Plus, I'm still kind of on European time, so I wake up at 3 every night and take forever to fall back to sleep. My new strategy is to stay up even later, so that I'm so completely exhausted when I finally do go to bed that I just stay asleep-we'll see how that works tonight.

~RLM

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

I leave for Athens one week from tomorrow. 

Yesterday was a weird day.  Caitlin and I woke up and decided to go swimming since it was hot and sunny.  We got dressed and drove over to Sahm's pool, only it was closed.  So we drove out to Andy's apartment complex to see if his pool was open-by the time we got there it had started pouring rain.  We got out anyways but the water was too cold to get in, so we just drove home in the storm with the windows down.  Actually quite fun. 

I made us grilled cheese and tomato soup for lunch, which was fantastic, and then spent the rest of the afternoon in an exhausted haze.  I tried to take a nap but couldn't fall asleep so I took a shower and then managed to fall asleep for about 3 hours.  Then madre woke me up and tried to make me do work, but I was too hungry so we ordered a pizza and then crawled up in her bed to watch Gilmore Girls and Pepper Dennis.  I did manage to get a little work done on my room, but that is my main goal for today.  I am actually feeling motivated so I might get some work done. 

For now I'm going to go make some breakfast-I feel like a smoothie-and then finish picking up the kitchen. 

~RLM

Thursday, June 1, 2006

So, just when everything was working out fine and it seemed like this trip actually might get off to a slightly normal start, I get an email saying that my check went out regular mail instead of express mail so I won't get the thing until next week, which leaves me no time to have it mailed back to my bank in Raleigh by the time I leave.  Seriously, its really not that difficult, and yet somehow, it always ends up being this way.

So, now I'm leaving in a week and have no money.  Yay!

~RLM