into the radiance

and somewhere at the end of it
where the road becomes a fence,
she points into the infinite,
into the radiance

and she says,
"don't be fooled,
don't be fooled,
don't be fooled by the real thing"

 

 

I think this Jay Clifford song is going to be the first on my hellasgood08 playlist - the anthem to my summer.  It makes me happy - hopeful - and has spoken very much to me since I first heard it.  And now every time it plays, I remember singing along with Steven from the back of the Mansion last Saturday night as Jay performed on stage- and I smile just a little. And I think I'm going to need that smile to stay calm.

This is not to say that I am no longer worried about leaving on Monday - I'm still nervous beyond belief - but it seems like I've reached a sort of calm plateau amid the chaos.  I printed out and backed up all of our important travel documents while I was at work today, and the insane worrisome old lady living in the deeper recesses of my consciousness takes great satisfaction from all the organization that went on.  Things are in neat piles on the sofa, waiting to be systematically crammed into my backpack - I haven't been able to stomach a test packing run just yet - so there may be another freak out coming later tonight.  Or I may just spend five weeks looking like a hobo.  A very organized and well read hobo.

My enthusiasm seems to be coming back - slowly but surely.  I felt that same familiar leaving-the-country high today as I typed up our itinerary, it sort of takes your breath away at the most random of moments.  And I just try to keep on typing, my brain all the while screaming, "this time next week we'll be in Rhodes."

Sigh. 

This time next week, we'll be in Rhodes. 

she points into the infinite, into the radiance, and says, don't be fooled by the real thing...

~RLM